In Praise of the Spanish Bedstead

In Britain it is not unknown for farmers to employ the odd pallet or two as a quick and easy way to fix a hole in a wall or fence but if they need a gate they will usually use a gate. In Spain the pallet is hardly ever used but the bedstead – that is a different story.

The metal bedstead! You know the one. A cast iron frame with a network of steel connected to it by springs. Your Spanish great grandfather and great grandmother gave one to your grandfather and grandmother as a wedding present and they slept on it every night of their 50 years of wedded bliss, your mother was born on it along with her 8 brothers and sisters, your grandparents died on it and eventually your mother inherited it and she and your father slept on it during most of their marriage. You were born on it as was one of your brothers and eventually you inherited it. All of your children were born on it except Ritz, who was born in the foyer of the local cinema when an early labour was induced by the excitement of True Lies – you never did see the end of that film!

But finally you decided to upgrade to a divan and the bedstead became surplus to requirements so what did you do? You converted it to a gate – yes a gate! It is just the right size and using barbed wire as hinges it works just fine.

You can even take an MA or MSc in bedsteads at Salamanca University. The MA covers the social importance of the bedstead in Spanish culture and the MSc studies the science behind its design and construction. This also covers the fact that they all seem to be square and shows that, statistically, the average Spaniard is twice as tall as he is wide

I think what is missing is an in depth study of the language of the bedstead – they squeak and they squeak but so far nobody has managed to work out what they say.

Let’s hear it for the Spanish bedstead! Long may it fill the gap!